How To Make A Mess Of Your Kitchen...

This one is really easy for me...just ask William. First make sure you have 10 hours of uninterrupted time. Working for shorter periods of time does not seem to do the same amount of damage.

1. Buy apples that are bruised and spotty.
2. Wash them up real good and then rinse.
3. Chop them up seeds and all and throw 'em in a pot with some water to simmer.
4. Have your manly husband poor the hot steamy apples into your handy dandy Victorio Strainer.
5. Make sure your husband makes funny faces while working so hard. This helps cover up the fact that it was not his idea of fun for the day to make applesauce.
6. Stand back and take pictures while your husband works like a madman to put food on the table.
7. Enslave your children to mush and strain the applesauce.
8. Take the plunger away from your eldest so you look like you are working also. Make sure to smile big for the picture.
9. Call the youngest children in from the backyard and let them pose with the finished applesauce to help them feel they were a part of this wonderful process.
10. Stare at the mess you created on the stovetop and wonder if it will ever be clean again.
11. Once more, enslave your children to clean up the mess, because well, they'll be eating most of that yummy applesauce.
12. Store 76 quart jars of delicious, homemade applesauce under your child's bunk bed because you have absolutely no storage space in your house.
    
13. Think of all the times you will serve this applesauce for dinner and lunch and breakfast.
    
14. Eat the yummy applesauce...sorry no picture for this one. The batteries die at the most inconvenient times.